How to Know If You’re Enabling An Alcoholic?

Alcoholism presents a complex challenge, often leading individuals to unconsciously excuse the excessive drinking of their loved ones. You may find yourself covering up for them or taking over their duties, believing you're offering support. However, such actions might unknowingly contribute to enabling behavior.

Recognizing and halting this enabling is a challenging yet crucial step. Let’s delve into this blog to begin understanding and addressing these patterns.

What Enabling Behavior Means

Enabling behavior is broadly defined as actions where you may unintentionally support or perpetuate their habits while trying to help. However, there’s a very fine line between helping and enabling.

The distinction between helping and enabling depends on the impact it has on the person. "Helping" promotes progress and positive changes towards sobriety while "enabling" encourages habits that lead them into alcoholism. 

Where Enabling Behavior Stems From

This may sound puzzling, but you must know that enabling behavior stems from complex emotions, including love, fear, guilt, or denial. 

For example, your love for them despite the alcoholism might give you the tendency to protect them from consequences. You may also fear causing them distress, possibly leading them further towards alcoholism. Guilt often frames itself as your way to make amends. 

Finally, denial of this alcoholism because of your love for them may make it easier for you to engage in enabling behavior. 

Signs Of Enabling Behavior

There are several signs of enabling behavior that you can look out for in yourself. Here are some of them:

• Covering up or making excuses. If you find yourself constantly shielding them from the consequences of their drinking, that’s not a good sign.
• Taking over their responsibilities. If you’re often stepping in to handle the tasks, duties, or obligations they have forgotten or disregarded, that may be a sign of enabling. 
• Financially supporting their addiction. It may be a sign of enabling if you’re regularly providing funds for their alcohol consumption or bills. ‍
• Avoiding confrontation about their drinking. Refusing to call out their drinking habits delays making them aware that there is a problem to be fixed. 

Being mindful of these signs can help you figure out a healthier approach to supporting their recovery. It’s all right to care for them, but ensure that you are providing healthy alcohol addiction support, not refusing them chances to be accountable and healthy.

Consequences Of Enabling

Enabling behavior can impact several parties involved in the situation. Let’s briefly break down how enabling can affect the alcoholic, the enabler, and your families. 

Effects On The Alcoholics

Enabling behavior can ultimately impede an alcoholic’s path to recovery. It makes them forget there's a drinking problem to fix; it becomes easy to deny problems, and much easier to refuse help because at least one person they trust is condoning their actions.

Enabling them can only potentially reduce their sense of urgency towards getting better and instead heighten their sense of dependence on you.

Effects On The Enablers

Your enabling behavior may involve a constant cycle of covering up, making excuses, shouldering their responsibilities, and funding their obligations. While this behavior continues, it can take a toll on your mental well-being; you may feel helpless, regretful, and hopeless. 

This may also strain your relationships with them. You may sometimes feel like losing control of the situation, and this may cause resentment. 

Moreover, constantly attending to them also means that you can't attend to your personal needs. 

Effects On The Family

Not only does enabling behavior affect the alcoholics and the enablers, but it can also affect the families involved. Children, most especially, are susceptible to the effects. When children witness enabling behavior, it can distort their image of a healthy relationship.

This may also give them the wrong ideas about accountabilities, responsibilities, love and nurture, and coping mechanisms. 

Breaking The Cycle Of Enabling

You may have recognized some of the signs and effects of enabling behavior on yourself. There’s no need to punish yourself, but now that you are aware of it, the next step is to break the cycle of enabling. 

Here are some strategies that you can start with: 

• Set boundaries. Establish limits of what you’re willing and unwilling to do to support them.
• Seek support. Reaching out to someone and making them aware of the situation allows you to receive support and someone to keep you accountable during this change. 
• Educate yourself about addiction. Further understand the triggers and the recovery process of alcoholism. This way, you’ll know how to support alcoholics better. 

It might take you a while, but it’s all a foundation for a healthier relationship.

Supporting Recovery Without Enabling

The first step to supporting addiction recovery without any enabling behavior is encouraging treatment. Be a source of motivation to seek professional help, and maintain open communication to establish a foundation for honest conversations. 

It’s also a great idea to be a good role model by being accountable for all your responsibilities and well-being. This implicitly encourages them to do the same.

Another Chance Family Group Program

Another Chance’s Family Group Program is perfect for all of this. It allows loved ones to develop a community of care, acceptance, and understanding for those who struggle with alcohol. It is an intensive introductory step in teaching you how to support alcoholics and their needs. 

The Family Group Program also introduces you to the science of addiction. You will learn how an alcoholic may change during their treatment and how you can better spot symptoms and address them healthily. 

Supporting recovery is all about encouragement, support, and understanding. Alcoholism needs a safe space for change, not a restrictive or a shielded one.  

In Conclusion

Enabling almost always stems from a place of genuine love and care, but never forget that it has its consequences. 

Despite being tempted to make excuses for them, you can instead set boundaries, seek support, and educate yourself about addiction. This will give you better chances of correctly supporting your loved ones.

Ready to break free from this cycle and headstart your loved one's recovery? Reach out to Another Chance today!